CHAOTIC SOLITUDE

Am scared of home...... ironic, right?!!
Yes, am scared of home
For the past two weeks, I have been trying all sorts of survival techniques I could grasp around me
Home has been frightening me.....I am questioning my existence in this place I used to run to

     *****" _Whenever you feel exhausted or afraid, always go home,it might be a person or place, but wherever home is,go there and breathe,and all will be okay"_ *****

Sounds familiar, right?!! But to me,home isn't proud of me calling them home...
Home is finding fault in everything I say ..
Not that I have changed,I still talk and joke as we used to from time immemorial
But home quarrels me everytime I try to start a chat
Home complains of almost everything that comes out of my mouth
Home is annoyed by everything I do
Even when I go silent for the fear of saying something wrong,home is pissed too

    *****_Tragic times._  *****
                                                                         
How do I tell home that the world is chasing me
How do I narrate of what I encountered in the battlefield
How do I say my fears to home 
How do I tell them that I need their shoulders to lean on, I need home to listen to me.....I need home to reassure me that all is okay ....... that I am enough 
How do I run home when Home is the reason I am running 

Is Home really home anymore??

~lilacmwesh🔥

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